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June 28, 2011

I'll be right back...and other famous lies.

This is probably my most heard lie, right in front of, I'll do it in a minute.  I say this to The Mister and/or the kid as I'm walking out the door of the house, or room I might be in, knowing full well that I will, in fact, not be right back.

Last night for instance, my gf down the street texted me and asked me if I had a stick of butter she could borrow.  Of course, being the sweet thing that I am, I immediately jumped at the chance to get out of the house for a few minutes I set out to lend a helping hand.

I lean over my COD playing man, kiss him on the forehead and utter my famous lie.  This was at seven thirty.  When I returned home at nine, the kid was downstairs, in her fathers spot on the couch watching her weekly dose of Switched at Birth, her new obsession.  With a smug grin on her face, she sarcastically chastises me for my tardiness.

Kid:  "Right back, huh?"

Me:  "Well you know KT, she can talk.  It was nearly impossible for me to leave."

Kid:  "Yes mom, I'm sure it was all her talking"

Me:  "Well we haven't seen each other in like, two days and she has a puppy"

Kid:  "How old are you, thirteen?"

Me:  "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

Kid:  "A. I'm seventeen, 2. It's summer and C. It's only nine o' clock."

Me:  "Yeah, so isn't it time for you to get a job and get out?"

Kid:  "Umm, you told me I can't leave until I'm twenty."

Me:  "Oh yeah. Fine, whatever.  Just keep your mouth shut for the rest of your residency.  By the way, when did Pa go to bed?"

Kid:  "About a half hour after you left, just about the time he realized that you wouldn't be right back."

Me:  "Watch it smart ass, I'll put you up for adoption."

Kid:  " You always say that, I think you may be a compulsive liar."

Me:  "You don't even know what that is."

Kid: ...  ...  ...  ...

Kid:  "Please stop talking now, my show is back on"

And that was my Monday night.
See ya tomorrow.
Marisa

2 comments:

  1. Please stop talking, hah. I've used those words on my mom before too!

    ReplyDelete

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