Search This Blog

October 17, 2011

What I've been up to. Pt. 1

Over the last six weeks, my life, has drastically changed.  Some changes good, some bad, some really bad.

First off, the really bad.  The day that I feared the most in my life came to surface itself, on one of the two worst days of my year.  On my sons birthday, they day I sit around moping that he's not here to celebrate his birthday with us, I dropped the bomb on my husband, that we DID NOT in fact have the money in our savings account, for him to get his snowmobile.  

Shocked by this news, he proceeded to give me the longest bout of the silent treatment, in history.  "How could I have wasted all the money, why didn't I tell him that I had to dip into savings", all the things that he was entitled to know, but didn't want to hear the answers to.  

Now let me explain this, it's not like I was just going out on shopping sprees, or out to fancy dinners, and I certainly wasn't going to the races every weekend, telling my wife to get me this and get me that and make sure I have a couple hundred bucks to get through the weekend.  No, I was not doing that.  I wasn't the one living by the "of course you can get it for me, we have a few thousand dollars in the bank" rule.  

But, I also wasn't the one saying, "hey listen, if you do this, we'll be out of money by Tuesday and I'll have to dip into saving to get us by until Friday".  I was the one who enjoyed seeing The Mister so happy, going here for a day, or there for the weekend.  He seemed content, and that made me content.  I was also the one that was under the delusion that I would get a job quickly, and be able to replace the money that was depleting at a faster than slow pace.  I was also enjoying the fact that, I too fell into the delusion that I could start getting more of the things I wanted.  Bad, bad, bad...

Luckily after five days of silence and a whole lot of "real talk" to him, from his best friend, who's always managed to stay pretty objective to us, and pointed out, that he put me through a great amount of hell for about six years, and maybe he should re-evaluate the situation before he throws all those stones, and then, he started talking to me again, but it's changed things greatly for us.  Like, from now on, until we can prove to each other  that we can manage money, we're going to manage our own monies.  He can manage his, and I'll manage mine.  For twenty years we've managed to mess things up financially, and I really want to try stick to a budget.  Problem is we don't see eye to eye with how to do it, so for now, we'll do it separately.  I know it's not ideal, but it's how it's gonna be.

So that's one of the things I've been up too, 
I'll tell ya more later...


  1. yikes lady!! i hope it gets fixed soon. money is always a joke and it causes stupid fights. xoxo

  2. Good luck. Finances is always such a sticky situation in marriage. I hope you two can work on a great compromise.

    Take care,
    Tracy Screaming Sardine

  3. My husband and I (married for 14 years) have separate bank accounts too. I don't think there's anything wrong with that! We're on each other's accounts, but it's agreed that we only spend out of our own accounts. It works for us. Before we switched to his, I was always annoyed that his ADD self kept losing receipt and he was always annoyed that I spent money that we didn't need to spend. So it's actually a marriage-enhancing choice for us! I hope it is for you too.


For every comment you leave, a zombie bunny turns back into a real bunny.