Ninety percent of the advice I give, is unsolicited. I know, "big shocker", right? I also know, that advice is like opinions, and opinions are like assholes, which means; everybody's got one, and a lot of them stink. Just keeping it real here. But the thing is, my unsolicited advice doesn't come up, just out of the blue. In fact, it usually comes up when some one has mistakenly come to me with a problem, not for advice on how to solve it, but for sympathy.
Here's where we run into problems.
I'm a solver, an idea-maker, an objective thinker and a tough lover. I have no time for consoling you while you tell me how everyone else is ruining your life, or making you feel bad, or treating you unfairly. While I recognize these things do happen, with my friends, it's usually brought on by bad decision making and I have no problems letting you know that. It always makes me giggle when I hear the phrase, "I need some advice", I usually ask them "from me, you sure about that?". Most people regret ever saying that, just about three minutes after I start dishing. Some of my friends ask me for advice, just so they can be emotionally berated for their wrong doings. Like masochists they come seeking my harsh words of truth and spouts of "I told ya so's". Yes, I say it. What good is being right, if you can't be proud of it?
My favorites are the ones that call me up, spend twenty minutes telling me how bad their life is going, and instead of getting an "awwwwwwwwwwwww sweetie, it'll be alright", my words are usually more along the lines of "um, how did you not see this coming?" and "you knew exactly what you were getting into, when you made your decision" and "I told you this was going to happen" and I usually have. Sometimes I try to go all psychiatrist on them and say things like "well what did you think was going to happen next" and "well, how do you think that makes others around feel and think about you".
I don't like chronic victim syndrome either. I'm not sure if it's an actual syndrome, but it should be. When someone stays in a lifestyle, willingly content with being the victim. You know the one whose life sucks, everyone treats them bad and "why does this always happen to me, I'm such a nice person", person. Yes, you are a nice person, but your also an attention seeker, doing nothing but creating your own problems and placing yourself in the victims chair, every damn time.
I also realize that I put myself in this position of being the "chick to go to, when I have a problem" and I really don't mind it, most days, but please, from now on, just know this. I will always tell it like I see it. I'm a realist. Almost every situation could be different with a differently made decision. (<<<---Captain Obvious here) I know, there's always exceptions, that's a given, but for the most part, you're only as happy as you want to be. If you hate your life, take a look at it and find what you can do to make it different. You might be surprised at how a very small decision change, can drastically improve your happiness.
Try it. I dare you!