Well after not voting for ten years, I got the chance to do it on Tuesday. And almost every initiative I voted for and every candidate I voted for, lost. At least on a local basis, I was foiled, on a national basis, it was nice to see Nancy Pelosi put out to pasture a bit. One thing I am determined to do now, is learn how to write my own initiatives in their fancy schmancy lingo. I'm just a small town girl, living in a lonely world....oh wait, no I'm not, well not lonely, small town girl I am. I have no need in my daily life for initiative lingo, I think most people don't. I wish they would write these things in plain laments words. I've realized over the last few years that most people don't vote on initiatives, simply because they don't understand them fully, who the hell really does, it takes teams of people to make on initiative and we as individuals are supposed to figure out just what they are getting at. Read the fine print, they say, oh yeah sure, it's in that same damn language that I couldn't read in big, bold print. I would like to write an initiative, to make it a law, that all initiatives must be written, in a way that our young voters, you know the lazy ass teenagers that read the "how to have a great orgasm" articles in Cosmo, can understand and get interested in and maybe even be interested enough in it to go out and vote. I know that when I was eighteen, I couldn't wait to vote. Finally, I could do something positive as an adult, I had a voice. Then it came down to vote, none of my teachers talked about anything on the ballots, because well they can't appear biased and let's face it, when it comes to politics, almost everyone is biased. So then I received my voters pamphlet in the mail and I thought, yippee, now I can find out, everything I need to know to make a educated decision. Wrongo! I read through my pamphlet and found myself wanting to roll into a ball, in the corner and start sucking my thumb, trying to find my happy place. This year, I felt like that eighteen year old girl again, a voting virgin, if you will.
When I received my voters pamphlet, I jumped in the air with delight and gazed at it like it was made of gold and covered in diamonds. I brought it and my ballot forms in the house and set them aside for when I could concentrate on reading front to back, back to front and make my decisions, not as a Republican or a Democrat, but as a single representative of my state. Later that evening, I started reading my golden pamphlet...and after the first two paragraphs, I was ready to swallow fifty aspirin with a fifth of vodka. I found myself feeling the urge to roll into that ball and start sucking my thumb again. Thankfully, I have this wonderful little box of information, with a keyboard built right in. That will answer all my questions, right? Wrongo, again! The info on the websites are just a jumbled and screwed and the ones on paper. Even watching the debates, is kind of like watching a light version of Jerry Springer. It's maddening as hell and I don't want to take it anymore. So, I am going to propose that we, as a united people should be able to read and understand the issues that we, the people, will be voting on. It seems only right to me. Watch for me asking for your signature someday soon.