I survived...

     So, I had my first dentist appointment in fifteen years yesterday and....I survived.  Yeah yeah, I knew I would, but that didn't stop me from crying a trembling throughout the entire process.  From the time we pulled up outside, until the time that I walked out the door, I was shaking and uncontrollably streaming tears out of the corner of my eyes.  My sweet younger came with me and was very angry when they told her she had to stay out in the waiting room, for my x-rays and exam, so she couldn't hold my hand.  That kid is by far, my favoritest sixteen year old on the planet.  Texting me the whole time I'm there, making sure I'm okay, letting me know how angry she is at them.  I was trying to let her know how lucky she was, because she didn't have to bear witness to her mother, crying like an infant while a dentist stuck a mirror in her mouth.   Her response, "like I would care.  How many times have you held our hands while we were scared.  That's what we do for each other Mommy".  Have I ever told you how much I love it when they call me, Mommy?  Even when I know it means they want something, it still puts me back to a time when they were waist high, wrapping their small little arms around my legs, looking up at me with that puss n' boots sweetface.  I don't know where on earth they learned it from.  Although, I did teach them that they can  move bridges, with just a batting of their eyelashes.  Oh yeah, the dentist.  Sorry.  I wander sometimes.  Next step for me now is going in next week to meet the poor schmuck that has to pull and dig out all of my teeth.  He has no idea what he is in for.  I think I'll send him an "I'm sorry" fruit basket in advance.  At least at this appointment, my younger can go in the room and watch me turn into a larger, but similar version of her five month old cousin with a wet diaper on.  I hope that my older will come too, but I doubt she'd be able to keep it together.  She is very much like Mommy in that, she would be in the fetal position right next to me, listening to the surgeon explain the process.  Except instead of crying and sucking her thumb, like me, she would be covering her ears and shouting "LALALALALALALALALA, don't wanna hear it, don't wanna hear it, LALALALA".  Watching horror movies with her is quite the experience, let me tell you.  Yes, full teeth removal is what is in store for this girl.  Right after the first of the year, all of my teeth will be replaced with brand new pearly whites.  I'm absolutely terrified and I'm probably going to be a bit dramatic about it.   I know your thinking, dramatic, not me.  I'm usually so level headed.

    On a separate and much more important note, two years ago, yesterday, I also survived hearing that my brother had been shot two times, by a couple guys that had refused to leave a house that he was at.  My brother survived, taking over twenty pieces of buckshot in the left shoulder and arm, on both the front and back side.  A few of them just missing some of his major arteries, lungs and face.  The other boy shot that night, was not as lucky as my brother and was shot at a much closer range and lost his life that night.  Yesterday was also a day that my brother had to face the man that shot him.  I feel ridiculous about my whining now.  That is all.  Oh except for this;  Dear Brother.  I'm so glad your alive!