Wow, this place looks familiar.

I know, I've turned into a non existent blogger over the last year.  I'm not quite sure why I dropped off the face of the earth, especially when I really do enjoy writing almost everyday.  I guess I just thought, well I don't know what I thought.  So, I'm gonna try to jump back on the ship and see if I can find my writing groove again.  

I would appear it's been almost exactly four months since I wrote anything.  Holy shit, what the hell man?!  Four months??!!  Last time I was here I told you about my grandson coming into the world.  Well let me tell you, he's cuter today than the last photo I took of him.

See...

Those eyes.  I just can't get over those EYES!!!  Kid's definitely got Grammy's heart already.

I'm also employed again.  YAY!  It's a monotonous job, in a warehouse with no windows and a husband/wife boss team, that will give me looooooooooooots of material to write.  Holy cow!  But we'll get to that in later posts.  I can tell you, that I'm the only other employee there, besides the H/W team, and they definitely add a certain element of stress to the job, that really backs up my theory that married couples should not live AND work together.  But for what they pay me, I can deal.  

In other news, I'm getting pretty good at this cake making thing, and have a pretty busy summer coming up.  I just did my fourth wedding cake, and I have to say, it might be my best one yet.

Purple ombre cake.  All in roses.  This took a bit to make, but it turned out soo good.  Yes, that's me tooting my own horn.  Beep Beep!!!

And on the other foot, I'm trying to get a legit photography business going.  Eventually I want to be a 'one stop shopping' type event service.  I mean, I can perform marriage ceremonies, I bake cakes, and I take pictures. Plus I'm one crafty bitch, and am able to decorate wedding props down to the toasting glasses.  I have a dream, and ultimate dream, and I will make it happen.  Oh yes, I will make it happen!

And on that note, I gotta get ready for work.  

Have an AWESOME day y'all!!!

Ohhhhhh Herrrrroooooooooooo Out There!!!

I know, I know, it's been forEVER since I wrote a post, and there's really no justifying it.  We'll just chalk it up to pure laziness and lack of motivation.  I know, shocking news, right???

My life has changed a lot since my last post though, in the form of a new addition to the family.  I'm proud to introduce to y'all....

Leo Alexander.

My very first grandchild and a New Years baby.  After 29 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing they decided to stop torturing my daughter and bring this gorgeous little boy into the world, via c-section.  Look.At.That.Face.  Almost two weeks old and already smiles when you talk to him and reacts soo sweetly when you talk to him.  I might just be in absolute love right now.

My youngest daughter is back at home, brought her boyfriend with her.  The Dude hates it.  Loves having the kid here, not fond of the other kid coming with her, but we're adjusting.  My outlook on the situation is, I have the ability to help mold the probably future dude-in-law into someone that I want my daughter shacked up with.  He just sees it as, a boy in his daughters room.  I get it, I really do, and I don't like it either, but when they move out this time, I want it to be 'for real' and hopefully permanent this time.  And if it takes a little more time in the nest, well then...so be it.

As for me, I've been keeping busy with my cakes, photography and miscellaneous other craft projects.  My newest projects are making signs, wine glass/glass block lights and jewelled wine glasses.

Here's a few shots of the amazing sunrises we've had lately.  Can't even describe how breathtaking they've been.  Pictures don't even do them justice.

Mt. Rainier in all it's glory.

Add caption

Almost a little Kinkaidish here.

Well, it's sounds to me like the animals are getting restless and wanting to be fed, so off I go.

See ya soon.

Back to basics.

When I started this blog a couple years ago, my goal was to have an outlet to express my happiness, anxiety, rants and miscellaneous other stuff.  Over the last year, I have let it dwindle away to nothing. at first because of the accident and having a new young 'en to take care of, then after awhile, NOT blogging became as much of a habit as blogging had become.  

So here we are, dear Blogger, back to basics.  

I don't expect that I have anyone out there, besides my amazing Grams that still looks for my posts, but that doesn't bother me, because I'm gonna post anyways.  

My life has changes immensely over the last year.  Some really good, some not really good at all, and some....well some is just plain fucked up.  Sorry for the language, but I swear sometimes, and well, it makes me feel better.  

We'll get to all of it, the good, the bad AND the fucked all in due time.  For now, let's just start with the good, the best, the happiest.

I am going to be a grandma.  My oldest daughter and her husband are expecting their first child on Christmas Eve.  That's right, another December baby.  The day after my mom's birthday and the day before Jesus's.  I'm kind of  hoping for a week late baby, a new years baby perhaps.  She has found out that it's going to be a boy, which makes The Mr. ecstatic, since it will start to shift the gender scale to his favor a bit.  I like it, because playing in the mud is fun.  Today is another ultrasound, since he was being a little shy last time and didn't let the ultrasound tech get good picture of his backside, because he was too busy flashing us his 'Full Monty.'  This bothers us NONE.  We're all too happy to see that precious little fetus again.  Daughter has had heartburn like crazy too, so were hoping for a full head of hair to go with his beautiful green eyes I imagine he'll have.

The belly with the bowtie on it, is my daughters belly.  She was taking pregnancy pictures with one of her friends.

I still have a hard time imagining that in a year, I'll have a little one to chase around again.  Babies are cute and everything, but the toddler stage, that's what I'm waiting for.  Babies can play in the mud or go snowmobiling with grandpa's.  

No, we're not at all excited for this. 

Gotta start getting ready, have a smashing day all, I'll post again soon.

Merry MERRY Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of you out there.  I hope your day is filled with Fun, Family and Love.  If you find yourself getting down about something today, please remember....there's always someone worse off than you.  Take a minute to take stock of all the wonderful things in your life, and try not to spread negativity, it's a gift nobody wants, and almost everyone returns.
 


XOXOXO
See you all tomorrow.

Just steal the whole post, it's way better than plagerizing.

When thinking of what to write about today, I opened up the  post that my Grams wrote yesterday, and it hit me.... Just steal hers.  So that's exactly what I'm doing today,  Since its content affected my life, I figured I was allowed.

I'm allowed, right Grams???

So, without further fluff, let me just give you a quick bit of info.  This is a story of my sweet little, darling of a cousin, and her medical fight, and her ability to make it through with the love and support of her family and her amazing will to survive.

Oh and grab a tissue, it's that kind of story.

Read the story.

A weekend full of T&A

Come hang out, read blogs and link up....Tell us what's up, Buttercups???



Whewwww, I made it through another milestone, and I even have my sanity left.  As some of you may know, my oldest, Lexi got married this weekend.  It was a beautiful outdoor wedding, complete with perfect weather, a stunning bride, a very handsome groom and some pretty badass food.  **not to toot my own horn or anything, but....beep beep.

The ceremony itself, was very sweet and slightly religious, since Tyler comes from a very devout family, which I'm sure tickled the hell out of Alexis' biodad and step mom, since they view me as the Anti-Christ.  This was also the first time I've seen both of them together, since Alexis came back to live with me when she was fifteen, and since the step mom wrote her a pretty rotten email a few weeks ago.  It was kind of hard for me to not kill them with death rays from my eyeballs, but it was my baby's special day, and Ithought such violence should be saved for another day.  The Mr. was there and was of course as handsome as ever, with his tucked in button up shirt and such.  I love it when he comes to events.  It helps prove that he is, in fact, a real boy, and not just a figment of my imagination that I made up to appease my loneliness.  

So instead of continuing to babble about it, how about I show ya some pics.....

The Mr. and me.  He cleans up good, don't he.  Hubba hubba!  PS.  Where are my lips???

This is Alexis, smiling during the opening prayer.  What a happy girl.

Sealed with a kiss.

The women of my family, well some of them.  My Grams, my mama, my baby, me and my baby baby.

Their wedding cake and cupcakes.

Licking the wedding cake off her face.

The new Mr. and Mrs.

The first dance.

And of course.  Kate and I, showing how and how not to act in public.

The weather was perfect, the ceremony was perfect and I believe the couple is perfect for each others.....

Have an awesome day!!!

When you make the right choice, and it still doesn't help.

Hey peeps out there in blogland, how is you're Tuesday going.  Mine is sore, but I'll get to that in a minute.  Right now I gotta tell ya to go hook up with my girls IA, who's having a horrible month, you poor thing.  I hope you get better soon, and then take a trip to the beach with Shawn to relax.  Then link up with them. It's just that easy.

Now, for the good stuff.  And by good stuff, I mean horrible, horrible things.  
This was my weekend.

Friday night started out with The Mr. bringing one of his loud co-workers over.  I don't mind that they're loud or even that they stay here for hours, it's that all they talk about is work.  UGH!!!  It's not a wonder that he thinks the weekends are getting shorter, he spends half of it, talking about the place he cant wait to get a break from.  Sheesh.  Boys.....I'll never understand em'.
So, after The Mr. goes to bed me and D decide were going to the watch the newest episode of our new favorite show, The Newsroom, when I get a call from a strange number.  I don't answer.  What?  It was after 11pm and my phone was waaaaaay over there, so then a few seconds go by and somebody left a message.  So I grab my phone, call voicemail, and find that my girl KT, is down at the bar and needs me NOW!!!  So, I get up, get dressed, put on a light layer of war paint and head out.  I get to the bar, where she was attending a bachelorette party, to find out that she got a ride there, and Happy, her Mr., was not answering his phone, and he is her DD for the night.  So I sit with her for a little bit longer, dance a little bit, hang out with friends, and just when were getting ready to leave....That's right, Happy shows up, looking like he just rolled out of bed, because he had, and took my drunken KT home.  I then offered anyone else a ride from a DD, nobody took me up on it, so I went home and went to bed.

Then comes Saturday, when I'M the one in need of a DD, since we are going to a BBQ with some friends, my BFF Squish, who's taking blood thinners and can't drink, offers to be my DD.  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!  We go to the BBQ, have a total blast, playing pool, having Jello shots, and just being with our amazing friends and having a good time.  

There's Squish up front making a kissy face, me, D, Bos, are in the back.

Notice how much the dogs like whoever is at the food table?  Hmmm odd.

We continue to these good times until around 1:30 am, then decide, we need to go home.  We're tired, I quit drinking a while ago, so my buzz has faded, which means I'll be ready for night night within the next 45 minutes.  So we left.

On the way home we were still gabbing about how much of a good time we had.  Squish's boy had fallen asleep and now it was just Squish, D and I shooting the breeze, when all of a sudden....
We come around a curve, and see what appears to be an oncoming car, in our lane about a half mile down the road.  Since we're on a 50 mph highway, at first we think, 'he must be passing, he'll get over', and then he doesn't.  Squish at this point is left with the decision to flip her car in a ditch, or try to make it to a nearby driveway, or get hit head on.  She's frantically honking her horn and flashing her lights, but the guy in the car, was just.....well I don't know WHAT the hell he was.  She reaches the driveway and as soon as she get's an inch of the front tire onto the gravel, we were hit head on.

Now, when they tell you that your life flashes before your eyes in a case like this...They are full of shit!  The only thing that was running past my eyes was, "please don't let us die, right now", over and over and over.  I managed to get out, and get Squish's boy and D out, but unfortunately, Squish was  trapped in the car by the door.  I ran around the car to try and open her door, searching for that 'there's a car on my baby' strength, and just couldn't find it, moments later the emergency crew was there, cutting her door off with the jaws of life, and D, J and I are sitting the yard 40' feet away listening to her scream as they pull her out.  D, J and I came away with minor injuries.  We're all sore, and I'm banged and scraped, but we're amazing compared to Squish, who suffered a broken wrist, forearm, ankle, femur and today she is scheduled for a six hour surgery to try and piece together her shattered hip.  She is stuck in the hospital for a minimum of 4-6 weeks, and right now she's heavily sedated in ICU.

Here's a few pics of my injuries.

My knee

Inside of my thigh.

My lower stomach.

Under my boob and torso.

Air bag burn on my nose.

We are told that the driver that hit us, was suspected of being intoxicated and suffered a broken arm.  At this point, I don't even know his name, or anything about him.  What I do know is, that in the blink of an eye, dozens of lives were changed by one wrong choice, and the person most afflicted by this wrong choice, was the person that made the right choice, by being a DD.  So if any of you out there have some extra prayers and good thoughts.  My girl Squish could surely use them.

Turkey and Deers and Bears, OH MY!!!

Hey all out there in blogland, I'm getting my lazy ass on here today so I can hook up with the bestest bloghopper makers around.  Of course I'm referring to the ever so awesome duo of Barfy McBarfer who's had to deal with the devil and hell, get better soon woman, and her cohort and fellow horny housewife, ADHD Girl, who has apparently converted to Sushi lover, which makes me want to be Barfy McBarfer, thinking about it.  So if you don't hook up with them, do it now, you'll thank me later.


This weekend I went with my Super AWESOME Grams to my uncles house up in Colville, WA, which is approximately 355 miles away from home, and on the other side of Mt. Rainier, aka, the sunnier side of WA.  Usually!!!  But we'll get to the weather later.  We went over to help celebrate the birthday/graduation of my cousin, and well, because we love them, and you're supposed to visit people you love, right?


I can't even begin to tell you how much I love to drive across this beautiful state.  You see, on my side of the mountains, it's lush green trees and grass, once you get to the other side, those trees turn into sagebrush, which turns into tumbleweeds and the grass turns into hard sandy dirt.  *Sidenote:  I saw my first tumbleweed roll across the road on this trip, but was unable to get a picture of it.  It was awesome.

My side of the mountains.  Green trees and cloudy.

Going over the mountains, we get to see lots of beautiful waterfalls.

Then you get to the other side.  A couple trees and a lot of dirt.

And windmills.

And lots of beautiful canyons, and more windmills.

Then you get to my uncles house and your back to tree country again.  And let me tell you, those trees hold a lot of wildlife, not to mention all the animals that are there too.  Ha!!!


The first of the animals that I totally fell in love with is Zeus, my uncles GIANT German Sheppard, who loves me.  And tried on several to physically show me how much.  Being a horny dog, isn't easy for real dogs either.  He quickly became my shadow, once we established that I wasn't THAT kind of bitch, and I even taught him a new trick.  Wanna see?  I knew you did.

We arrived at my uncles house, just in time to get down to business.

This is what I've been waiting for.

What did YOU think I was waiting for???

Now that's a spread!

After the festivities, my uncle took me up to his feeding ground.  He loves and feeds the local wildlife around him and has made friends with what is now the third generation of deer.

Isn't she lovely?

Look, more wildlife, and if you look closely, you'll see a deer jumping away in the background.

This is Missy, Missy's mom was Mascara.  My uncle has known Missy since she was born, and now that Missy has a fawn of her own, my uncle now has to come up with another M name.  I love my family's love for nature.

I would have taken a picture of the bear, but we didn't actually see him, only what he had left on the trail, the night before, but I didn't want to take a picture of that, since shit is gross, and I didn't want to gross you out.  You're welcome.


I did however see turkeys.  Four of them, just roaming around my uncles property, by his pond.  I truly was amazing to just be sitting there, and all of a sudden have a bunch of turkeys just wander into your space.

I named them, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Smoked and Jive.

Well, it appears that this post is getting pretty long, and I haven't even gotten past the first day yet, so I think I'll save the rest and the trip home, for Thursday, since it would appear I have 3 days of housework to catch up on.


Or, I could watch all the shows I missed while I was gone.

Tough choice.


Until tomorrow.  
Stay AWESOME!!!!

It's just a day.

I've heard that phrase, so many times in the last two days, that I never want to hear it again.  I will try to make this post, somewhat short.  And by short,  you know I'll ramble on and on, right?  Well here goes my story, well, my daughter's story on why she didn't get to walk with her graduating class, but will get her diploma at the same time as all her other classmates.


Let me give you a bit of a back story as to why D had to work so hard this year, to graduate from high school.


When D was in 9th grade, the first year of HS here, she decided to go to the school that her paternal Great-Grandfather went to, we live in a place were she had 4 different HS's to pick from.  And for the next two years, she started failing classes for the first time ever.  Part of it was out of pure laziness, over doing homework, some of it was truly not understanding her work, and not getting the help she needed, 'my fault', and she just didn't really fit in there and hated being at a school where no one talked to her.  So, for her junior year, she did online schooling and did great. She didn't make up any credits, but she didn't fail any classes and she was understanding the work.  However, she missed the school setting, but didn't want to go back to her former school.


So then we found 'heaven' in a high school.  The same high school that I went too, that her dad, aunt, grandparents all graduated from.  From the second we met with the counselor there, we knew this was the place she was meant to graduate from.  We mapped out the whole years course plan for her, so that she would not only take all of her required senior classes, but that she could, if she worked hard, make up those  classes that she needed to graduate.  YAY! 


So for this entire year, that girl has busted her butt, to get things done.  She even broke up with her boyfriend of two years, because she felt he was a distraction and an anchor, to her future achievements.  Fast forward a wonderful school year, until about 6 weeks ago, when D sets a meeting up with her counselor to make sure everything is really going to happen.  This is when the counselor informs her that she has an entire elective credit to make up, that she'd previously overlooked, for the last 8 months.  So with six weeks left in school, she started on a class, at least they gave her the easiest class available.  However, while struggling to get that online class done, she started slacking off a bit in the rest of her classes.  All of her teachers understood, and could see how stressed she was now getting about graduation getting closer, and most of her teachers, help her out.  MOST of her teachers, there was one teacher, who not only did help her, but in fact, put her farther in the whole.  He was a week behind on grading her assessments, which are basically comparing two or more stories, however the teacher wants you too.  Let me also say, this teacher should be teaching a higher level of education.  I could barely understand his instructions of what he wanted.  Anyways, she can redo these assessments as many times as possible to get a good grade one them.  Well that's impossible to do if you don't know if you've even failed it or not.  So he finally catches up on her work, with a week left of school.  Meanwhile, she finished and passed all of her other classes, and now it's just this one.  So she hands in her assessments, and her teacher spends the next two days, sick at home, not grading her papers, not answering her emails, which at this point, were becoming stern, and frequent.  It's now the last Wednesday of school, and graduation is on Sunday, and her teacher is finally back and able to grade her things.  Unfortunately, two of the assessments she wrote were past the deadline, for seniors.  "Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you're a senior", she's in a junior class.  


So needless to say, my sweet little daughter, who worked her tail off this year, couldn't and wasn't allowed to make up any work in that class, due to new policy, and was four percent away from passing his class.


I felt this was grossly unfair, and went down on Friday to talk to, well whoever I had to talk to, to make sure that my daughter was going to walk on Sunday.  And I wish I could say that I was able to fight tooth and nail to get her there, but, there was nothing the principal could do, and the teacher I needed to talk to, of course had to leave immediately after school.  


So yesterday, I accompanied my daughter, to her graduation ceremony, so that she could see her fellow classmen walk.  She even brought her cap and gown, so that she could take pictures with her friends.

D and her Friend T.  Those are tears of both, joy for him and sadness for her, in her eyes.

And when she get's her diploma, I'm going to take a picture of her to photoshop into this one.

Well that's my ramble for the day.  I wish that we could see the graduation ceremony walk as, 'just a day' and yes we know that it's the diploma that really matters, and the hard work that she put forth to get it.  But, we can't help but feel a bit robbed out of an experience, that we wanted and worked for.  And that it was never viewed as, 'just a day', to us.


See ya tomorrow kids.

Sweet sixteen and still hurting.

Today is my sons birthday.  He's a sweet sixteener and he's never been kissed, at least not by someone that wasn't related to him anyways.  

My baby boy, just a couple weeks old, died from SIDS at two months and 26 days old.  He's missed everyday by his family, and will be forever.

When he died people filled my head with heartfelt cliche's like, "it'll get easier" and "give it some time" and although those words helped light up my darkness, I can honestly say.


It doesn't always get easier, no matter how much time goes by.


Maybe they were talking about the fact that it would get easier to talk about him, or what happened to him, because it is.  But what's not easier, is seeing the pain in someone's eyes when I do tell them, the sorrow they feel for me or even the guilt they may feel, because they have sons that are still alive.


I told my younger, who by the way is still pretty bitter about our loss, that today is not a day to be mad that he's not here, today is the day we're happy that we even got him in the first place.  


Easy words to say, not so easy to feel.


But I will smile and go on, I mean, what choice do I have?  Plus, I have some of the most amazing people in my life, everyday, that keep me smiling.

We're going to his grave today, I'm baking him a cake, we're bringing him flowers, he'll feel our love and we'll feel his protection.


Maybe things are easier after all.

The last first day of school.

Yesterday was my baby's last, first day of high school.  The last year of forced education.  The last time I get to see her fade into the 100 hall of school life.


Excuse me while I go die.




Nobody panic, false alarm.

Look at that first day pose.  It's not fair she's this old already.

It was an especially nervous day for us because, 
A.  She's a senior this year, so it's do or die for making up core credits, and
2.   It a brand new school for her this year and she only knows one person there, so there's the added pressure to make new, good friends.


I have no doubts that she'll shine.  I mean, I raised her.  


So if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go cry for an hour.


Marisa.

Til were dead!

Today is The Mister's and I second wedding anniversary. Wooooooooooooooo!

That scruffy ass beard and my orange hair tie bracelet really classes us up.

To us a just another day, I mean, we've been together for like 100 years.  Okay, maybe only 18, but hey, sometimes it feels like a hundred.  It does mean however, that I get to make a nice dinner and spend the day crafting him a card that will make him say awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, right before he puts it on the coffee table and picks up the TV remote and spends the day channel surfing .  Which is okay, because I have a super busy day planned myself and I wouldn't want him to feel lonely.


The younger's last day of summer is today and I'll be spending the day making her hair RED and putting little feathers and pieces of tinsel in it, that represent her school colors.  Then I have to make a super special anniversary dinner that won't cost me as much as it would to just go to dinner.  


Last year was awesome, we went out to dinner at our local Italian joint and came home to a romantic fire...via on demand, and our toasting glasses with a bottle of wine and cards from our girls.  The did the coffee table up all romantic like and everything. How can that be topped?  

Still my favorite wedding picture.  Except, the bouquet, I had a really pretty, too bad it was at home and I was in Vegas.

Hmmmmmmmmm.  Maybe a dusk-time chunky dunk down at the lake, complete with grapes and a box of wine.  I'll figure it out.  


All I know is I still love the guy and will til were dead. ♥


See y'all tomorrow.
Marisa